Armor

My armor shines in the sunlight

multifaceted jewels
and metal scales
glistening

But it is armor, none the less

My armor wears a pretty face
an easy smile, graceful poise
and always knows the right thing to say

But it is armor, none the less

Designed to shield and to protect
the delicate inside
a fine glass filament
shimmering
softly colored
barely noticeable
and easily shattered

I am not the easiest woman to love

I have weaponry
logic, reason and denial
I know how to pretend
the armor is all I am

Locked inside a prison
of my own making
I've felt the utter isolation
of never having been seen or known
as myself
Of only having been seen and known
as the outer shell
I’ve pretended to be

My armor
is wearing thin
the fine glass
filament is melting
colors swirl together
a liquid rainbow
iridescent

My armor hardens to glass from the heat

It's falling off of me in pieces
Exposed,
I feel fragile, hopeful
and less alone
each step awkward, imbalanced
by the shifting weight
as more glass falls away

The war is over
The war is over
The war is over

The return to my true self
has begun

Snow Globe

Little girl sitting in that snow globe all alone
with the wind and sky to comfort you
and rolly pollies your only friends

Little girl dreaming of a better day
trying to deny desperation
and loneliness so complete
it's all she knows

Little girl uttering a scream
as silent as the snow fall
locked inside a pain
so absolute

Little girl, I see those hurts
the scars seared on your chest
I know why you sit
in this snow globe all alone

I take your hand
and run my thumb
across the small, fine bones
the brown skin soft
and smooth as dust

I look into your
bottomless eyes
full of hope and wonder,
confusion and
unbearable pain

I know you feel
powerless against the forces
that tear you asunder

Come and sit beside me
I'm here to tell you
you're going to be okay

One day you will find a man who loves you
he will hold you when you cry
he will take your hand
and walk this life beside you
and even when you try to make him
~ lashing out like a feral cat trapped in a burlap sack~
he will never leave you

You will have an amazing, interesting life
full of accomplishment
and six beautiful children
You will be a good mother
and they will never know
the pain you've known
Because of you
they will never feel so all alone

I know how you got
those grooves
the crushing sorrow
and desolation of losing more
after you had lost so much already

Lift your chin and look at me
I'm here to tell you
you're going to be okay

Look at me
I'm here to show you
we're going to be okay

Look at me
I'm here
and I'm okay

Survive: By Definition

Survive: By Definition

To remain alive or in existence

To carry on despite hardship or trauma

Persevere

To live, persist

To remain functional or usable

To cope with trauma

To persevere after


Survival: By Definition

The act or fact of surviving

especially under adverse or unusual circumstances


Survivor: By Definition

A person or thing that survives or endures

One who survives

Broken: By Definition

Broken: By Definition

Having been fractured or damaged
no longer in one piece
or in working order

Rejected, defeated, despairing

Forcibly separated into two or more pieces
fractured
broken glass

Sundered by separation
desertion of parents

Having been violated

Incomplete

Being in a state of disarray
disordered
broken ranks

Intermittently stopping and starting
discontinuous
broken transmission

Varying abruptly
broken sobs

Spoken with gaps and errors
broken English

Topographically rough
uneven
broken terrain

Subdued totally
humbled
broken spirit

Weakened and infirm
broken health

Crushed by grief
broken heart

Not functioning
out of order

Broken: By Definition

The River Knows

The river knows but she won't tell
as she wanders through the dell
keeping secrets dark and deep
along her banks, the shadows creep

Keeping secrets dark and deep
where catfish lie and fishes sleep
where rocks grow green and sunlight fades
and black eels lurk amidst the blades

Where rocks grow green and sunlight fades
and weaving fronds are pretty maids
she sings her song, in foreign tongue
the burbling chortle of the young

She sings her song in foreign tongue
her melody a tune unsung
a gentle roll, a surge a rush
of heavy water through the brush

A gentle roll, a surge a rush
of water pressing with a crush
perhaps my heart would be consoled
to feel the rush and hear the cold

Perhaps my heart would be consoled
if I could heed the tale she told
The river knows, but she won't tell
as she weaves her water spell

Black Lake

The lake
is flat as glass
a black mirror that casts
the dark world back onto itself

Stars
~gold coins
tossed carelessly into the heavens~
are fire-flies frozen
on this obsidian facade
vibrant sparks amidst echoed mountain peaks

You don't know if your footsteps will meet
with tranquil water or vast sky
till your toes find the edge
You don't know you've
step into darkness
till the ripples
transform
the image
forever

The Wind is in the Willow Tree

The wind is in the willow tree
frost is on the ground
all the lovers light their fires
in this little town

The wind is in the willow tree
all the stars are bright
and the owl's glowing eyes
are small moons in the night

The wind is in the willow tree
silence lays beyond
the zephyr in her weaving arms
throws leaves across the pond

The wind is in the willow tree
the bed is close and warm
but shrouded by her gentle sighs
is prophecy of the storm

Pearl-Colored Sky

I should have stayed in bed
~ that pearl-colored sky
filled me with optimism
the bright silver bulb of the sun
shone behind
opalescent clouds
~ calm stillness
hinting that anything at all is possible